Monday, 31 August 2020

August - not much to say this month - nice weather

 1 August

I reckon the sun is just a fat middle-aged woman's underboob. Anyone else feeling a bit warm?

24th August

Watching the news about kids going back to school. Aren't loads of kids just going to start pretending to have a cough, or is that just the sort of thing the kids I went to school with would have done?

27th August

It's taken 12 years for Owen to wear me down, offering to let me twiddle his knobs while explaining waveforms, but it's finally happened - now that I'm a musician (obvs) I have just ordered my first bit of 'gear'. It's a midi keyboard thing that will probably sit gathering dust like my penny whistles...stay tuned!

27th August

Pep Guardiola always sounds to me like some remedy for effervescing your pipes.

Sunday, 30 August 2020

July musings 2020 continues...

 1 July

Can anyone ID this bird? The song sounds like a yellowhammer, bit it doesn't look like the ones I've seen online though I'm wondering if it's a juvenile. Watch until the end to see how bright yellow the wings are at the back - one reason why I'm not thinking that it's a siskin.


 3 July

It's bandcamp Friday - here's some new noodlings.

 3 July

We have become a grandmother! I was right! Tiny little thing in the feeding box. I've given it some meaty Felix as those biscuits look like hard work for such a little one. I'll have to get some kitten biscuits.


5 July 
 
Nice tits shame about the face etc. Let's see yours.


 6 July

Why are they chucking all that money at the theatres? I thought it was the royal family that brought all the tourist revenue to London.

 6 July

Update: It's a Napoleon weaver bird.
Apparently, the bird that I thought was a yellowhammer isn't. Someone who knows more about yellow birds than I do has suggested that it's an escaped weaver bird of some sort.

 9 July

Didn't realise I was on this and had an eye on the TV weather so got a bit of a shock when I just heard myself shouting 'cunt, cunt, cunting cunt'.

 11 July

Chuffed that my track 'I'll Stay on the Bus' got some airplay on 'When Big Joan Sets Up' on Bradford Community Radio last night thanks to Phil Cope AND he likened it to Ivor Cutler. High praise indeed. #BlowingMyOwnTrumpet #NoIHaventActuallyGotATrumpet It's free to download if anyone wants it.

11 July

How exciting, I'm on this too! You can hear my poem 'Your Horoscope' that I spliced with some of Owen Tingle's synth samples. https://radiotrouble-archives.blogspot.com/2020/07/radio-trouble-episode-301-range-of.html

12 July

I'm off to bed. Here's another track that got played on an eclectic podcast this week. I'm an avante-garde musician now dontcha know. Make sure you listen to your horoscope so that you'll know how to survive the next mass extinction.

 13 July

Out of focus, but here's Roger the mystery bird (Napoleon Weaver aka yellow crowned bishop) today. His plumage is changing and his breast is almost completely black. Apparently, the males have this bright plumage during the breeding season but are quite drab: brownish and white like the females when not in the breeding season. Obvs there's no ladies about for him so I've started imagining a scenario where he builds a beautiful home for a jilted sparrow and they live happily ever after rearing some alpha sparrow's bastards. Thus far he seems to be surviving; I've moved the bird feeder into the lilac so the sparrow hawk can't get him.


13 July

#ICYMI Here's Friday's 'When Big Joan Sets Up' which includes a track from me - also the cover of 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon' that follows is quite something.

15 July

June round up. I think I'm archiving these so that at some point in the future, when I look back at this time, I won't remember it as the fucking void that it feels like sometimes.

 https://helendthomas.blogspot.com/2020/07/june-2020-pandemic-round-up.html

 16 July

I have no idea why Donald Trump is advertising beans but seeing as, here in the UK, a 'trump' is a massive expulsion of offensive gas from a person's bum end, it seems quite apt.

18 July

This old thing got some radio play last night.


 18 July

As someone on twitter said, "Boris Johnson said he 'loved' fox hunting in a 'semi-sexual' way. We truly are governed by a Prick." And now it looks like he's putting thicko Ian Botham in the House of Lords, that's Botham who loves killing birds for fun.

19 July

#ICYMI Proper toe tapping one this - my track is probably the quietest most downtempo thing on there, can you believe it?

20 July

Has anyone else caught themselves wondering how long it's going to take for all the stupid people to die?

22 July

I don't need to do yoga - getting up off the lawn when I'm weeding is like a fucking work out.

30 July

Fucking hell, I just fell down a death metal rabbit hole on bandcamp. Someone needs a lozenge.

Wednesday, 15 July 2020

June 2020 pandemic round up.

1 June
Here's today's 10 O'Clock Potato News.

 3 June
Chester Zoo is in the news. They're pissed off because people can go to parks and beaches but not to their large, open air zoo. I think they have a point. Also, if anyone can contain the stupid British public, then you'd think an attraction that has a myriad of massive dangerous animals under lock and key would be able to do so.

 4 June
Yum! I wonder what Geoff Cat would have made of this. He used to go mad for the smell of bleach and, of course, loved a bit of chicken.
 https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2020/06/03/britain-ready-allow-import-chlorinated-chicken-us/

  
 6 June
Katy Perry's fucking shite isn't she?

 7 June
Me, using Owen's synth skills to back my words, and as one half of Tingle In The Netherlands will be on 'The Sunday Sermon' starting now. 2pm - 5pm BST today https://www.mixhitradio.co.uk/

 7 June
If you missed the radio show that I was on about, it's on #mixcloud - described by the curators as 'brain melting #ambient & #downtempo #weirdness'. I think they usually do #techno. Loads of my tracks and some Tingle In The Netherlands on here too all nicely chilled.
https://www.mixcloud.com/ayeken/the-sunday-sermon-june-2020/


 8 June
I was sitting in the garden earlier and saw a robin, in the hedge opposite, looking at me. I'm desperate to make friends with all the robins, in the hope that one day I'll get one to land on my hand and take a sunflower seed. So, I made a sort of a 'ts ts' noise to encourage the robin and it flew across the garden, straight at me, then hovered for a bit just in front of me as if to say, "What you looking at?" then flew off. Sadly, I didn't have my camera - it would have made great footage. Anyway, I think the noise I made might be a stressy noise, so I'm going to try warbling in future.

 9 June
Never seen two woodpeckers in the garden simultaneously before - parent and young one here just now.


 10 June
Aphid sheltering from the rain.



 10 June
Everything was fine until I killed the false widow spider...

 12 June
I've recently caught myself pondering whether the retail workers of the supermarkets I regularly frequented before lockdown have wondered if I'm dead. #NobodyCares 💀🪦😆

 12 June
Did they ever get that dentist who killed Cecil the lion?

 13 June
Joseph the hedgehog looking well.

 14 June
Aphids 14th June 2020. They were en route to the green bin but I liked the pattern they make so re-located them.

15 June at 13:54
HURRAH! THE PANDEMIC IS OVER! WE CAN ALL GET BACK TO NORMAL NOW!

  15 June at 19:13
Song idea. "Aphids in my bra. You didn't have to die this way."

 17 June at 20:41
Is there anything more cynical than a children's choir?
 19 June at 04:48
I've finally finished one of my many unfinished projects. Thank you, and good night.



 27 June at 16:20
Thread. Sounds like everything that Jenrick does is transactional. Same goes for the rest of the thin skinned charlatans in government. Our lives are in the hands of these self serving oafs.
 https://twitter.com/JolyonMaugham/status/1276624617399103489

 27 June at 16:41
I used to quite enjoy hearing what I got up to in other people's dreams, but these days I just end up feeling bitter and jealous.

28 June at 16:43
After posting that status about getting up to stuff in other people's dreams, I had that classic anxiety dream of going out without any pants on. Owen wasn't bothered and didn't mention it. Typical. I wasn't that bothered either to be honest until I remembered that they have CCTV in the dream's locale, so I went back in and put some pants on.

30th June 23.56pm
I'm sharing this again because it would be a shame if you missed it..