Tuesday, 5 November 2019

Firework Poem

Monday, 28 October 2019

Halloween Party Food Ideas Anyone?

The third stanza from 'Season To Taste' from the EP
 'Frowned Sounds'.

In autumn: sundried, road-kill casserole,
Cow-bar culled, magpie inspected, pecked,
Blood marinated potage of pothole,
Maggot-riced, rock salted and flat packed,
Morsels tweezer-peeled from tarmac’s clefts,
With sulphur tufts and rare game braised, I served
A spill of tongues with juicy marrow cracked,
Then Granny Smith’s most vile windfall dessert:
A boozy, worm-holed sludge of apples bruised,
For raisins: drunk wasps and blue bloated flies,
With nutty gravel crumble, clay clods baked;
Poured septic sauce called ‘custard’ on the side.
Three portions later, to my sad surprise,
My favours failed to bring forth your demise.

Wednesday, 16 October 2019

Halloweenesque - Darkish tunes for 2019

This year's Halloween playlist. It's time stamped, and as many of the buy links I could find are included in the list below. #SupportTheArtists

Kill Shelter - Bodies (ft Buzz Kull)
Normal - Life and Soul
No buy link
Lucky Oddy - Swine Flu
The Fat - Fiesta Muerta
Owen Tingle - Infertility Dance
Farmacia - Película de Terror
Demand - Beauty of Decay
John Maus - Time to Die
Ladytron - Evil
Weerm - Evil Edna
No buy link but check out Weerm's bandcamp anyway:
Sheep On Drugs - Uberman (American Sinners Mix)
David Byrne - Good and Evil
Fun Boy Three - The Lunacy Legacy
Helên Thomas - Noise Experiment 1

Wednesday, 24 July 2019

'Same Coin' - two track single on Bandcamp

From the sublime to the irate. Two spoken word tracks, by me, set to musical loops / soundscapes compiled from donated samples, courtesy of Owen J.

Words: Helên Thomas
Music created using samples donated by Owen J.
Sample butchery, musical assemblage and ear work: Helên Thomas

Sunday, 12 May 2019

Sex and Death: Two Flies Shagging In A Cobweb

I was in the garden this afternoon, when I noticed two blue bottle flies shagging on a leaf. Well, it is spring. One of the flies decided to take flight and the pair of them, still adjoined, tumbled down into a wispy cobweb. I grabbed my camera, expecting an incredulous spider to arrive ready to parcel them up.

Did they escape? Were they eaten by a spider? I filmed the ensuing drama and you can watch all 49 seconds of it below. If you've ever wondered what a shagged out fly looks like, watch 'til the end.

Thursday, 3 January 2019

The death of creativity

I wrote this 14.3.2004 but thought I'd paste it here before AI claims copyright. 

Location: Typing pool 
Typing pool?
Bear with me.
Typewriters: Infinite
OK, PCs: Infinite
Monkeys: Infinite
Primates: Extinct now. Hairy. Can’t type.
Can’t type?
They’re not so much typing as hitting keys at random, that’s the point.
Time allowed: Infinite
Expected results: The entire works of Shakespeare plus every other piece of literature that could possibly be written ever. (Includes drivel; magazine articles; biographies including those of people not yet born; major works of fiction; drama and philosophy; all text books except those including mathematical formulae; dogma; manifestos; TV listings pages; occasional recipes and LOTS of poetry, infinite amounts of it, in fact all the poetry you could ever write and more). So, do you think you can build it?
No problem.
Can you build it, run it then publish and copyright its entire output?
And how long will this take?
Hmmm. Give me a month.
Brilliant. And then, can you build me one that does art?

Tuesday, 4 December 2018

Naughty Not Nice Christmas Stocking Filler


Track List

I Hate Christmas by Proud Failures

Christmas Jumper Friday by Hemming Tong

Merry Christmas by The Bombshelter Brigade (free download)

Snowman by The Kettle Ons

I Hate Christmas by Beer and Pretzels

I Hate Christmas by earwigs

I Hate Christmas by Snap-her

I Hate Christmas by William Baldwin, Matthew Frank

All i want for christmas is shit by The Toilet

Foggerton eats a Tory For Xmas by Norris Nuvo

Just Say 'No' To Christmas by HT and OJ

Happy New Year by Hemming Tong

Friday, 19 October 2018

Halloween Countdown: 12 Days 'til Halloween...

Buy here:

Monday, 1 October 2018

Halloween Playlist 2018

Cloud Waste and the Calf - Phantasmagoria

Lucky Oddy  - Three Wolf Moon

Egyptian Lover - Zombies

HNN - L'écran vert

Lebanon Hanover - Gallowdance

Die Jungen - Do be Scared

Alesia  Cosmos - The Last Line
No buy link but check out their bandcamp here: https://alsiacosmos.bandcamp.com/album/exclusivo

Flies on You - It Creeps

In Death It Ends - Infinite End

Lebanon Hanover - Midnight Creature

Kas Product - Devil Fellow

She Past Away - Ritüel

Ladytron - Light and Magic

Solemn Shapes - Loss

Klaxons - Four Horsemen of 2012
Google it.

Fun Boy Three - The Lunatics Have Taken Over The Asylum
Google it.

Klaxons - Four Horsemen of 2012 (continued)
Google it.

Flies On You - Shipmanesque

Pixies - Dead
Google it.

Fat Mess - Gary Glitter

The Cramps - Surfin Dead
Google it.