BIG BEN BONG

From Rosemary Dun: A poem from me and my mate Helên Tingle. I love collaborating with Helên - we have such fun. Anyway, I started this poem after turning on the telly a few days ago and seeing Boris Johnson saying,' "Bung a bong for the Big Ben bong" - and decided one of us had gone mad. Turns out it's true. (He meant to say bung a bob). Still nuts.

BIG BEN BONG

Bung a bob for the Big Ben bong
crowd funding Brexit's midnight strike
Sing a rousing song for the Swan Song Gong
ring out the bells like it’s Bonfire Night

Ben first bonged in the time of Charles Dickens
But lately Ben's been silent as a dodo
Celebrate your right to eat chlorinated chickens
With Mark Francois as Quasimodo

Send remoaner wrong 'uns to Kim Jong
Un. We can't wait any longer
A shame the Great British Pound's not so strong
Coz those bongs cost a stonkin' load of wonga

Let’s twang a thong all day long
join the queue for passports blue
Bang the bongo bongs as we sing, "Ding Dong!"
bing bang bongs and nikky nakky noo

Make like King Kong as Big Ben bongs
Join the merry leavers’ buoyant conga
When the Big Ben bongs join the jubilant throng
morris dancing with the King of Tonga

ning-tong-ning-tong and piddle-aye-poh
heave-ho to the land of Spike Milligan
high five and bing bong bo to the Big Ben bro
fall drunk as skunks playing Spillikins

Then the next day when you’re sober
and had the chance to think it over
when you’ve got a thumping head,
meat sweats, hangover dread,
a faint suspicion you’ve been had --
that the future could be bad.
For deals and wealth you'll have to wait
an inkling Britain’s not all that great
Too fuckin late mate.
Those bongs have sealed your fate...

Oh well, C'est la vie!

Rosemary Dun and Helên Thomas