Friday, 29 April 2011

Despot Playlist for the Royal Wedding.

As the royal wedding looms over us like a prison guard with a cattle prod, the media has got itself in a spin about the number of foreign dictators being invited to the party. The International Business Times said this:

"The invitation that provoked the fiercest outcry was the one to The Crown Prince of Bahrain, whose regime has killed several protesters and injured hundreds in bloody crackdowns.
Other invited royals whose regimes were embroiled in suppressing protestors in 2011 include Saudi Arabia, Oman, Kuwait and Morocco."

The Crown Prince of Bahrain has now been disinvited, but I can't help wondering what all the fuss is about. The royals have always been happy to cosy up to the morally corrupt, provided that they have the required cash and 'status' to mix in the highest echelons of international society. 

So, in celebration of this fact, I have decided to compile a playlist of songs about some of the world's greatest despots and dictators, preferably ones who have been welcomed to Buckingham Palace, no questions asked. 

At number 5 it's the man of the moment, Gary Glitter lookalike and graduate of the Bono school of ego and self love, Colonel Muammar Gaddafi.

Obviously, Gaddafi hasn't been invited to the wedding which is a shame seeing as Prince Andrew is such good pals with his son, Saif al-Islam Gaddafi.

"The latest revelations in the British media have centered on Andrew's friendship with convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein and claims that Andrew also had close ties to Saif al-Islam Gaddafi, one of the Libyan leader's sons." (

Saif al-Islam Gaddafi has also been in the news recently as it has been alleged that his Phd was written for him in exchange for a large chunk of funding that was awarded to the LSE. There's not much else to say about Saif's infamous father. Given the ongoing situation in Libya, Colonel Gaddafi's despot CV is currently a work in progress; his son's academic CV is a work of fiction.

Here's a toe tapping track about Gadaffi senior for your listening pleasure.

At number 4 it's Nicolae Ceausescu.

Romanian Dictator Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife were received by the Queen at Buckingham Palace in 1978. Ceausescu was awarded an honorary GCB (Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the Bath) although he was stripped of this honour the day before his execution during the revolution in Romania in 1989.

"During the course of the revolution, the western press published estimates of the number of people killed by the Securitate in attempting to support Ceaușescu and quash the rebellion. The count increased rapidly until an estimated 64,000 fatalities were widely reported across front pages." (Wikepdia)

Here's a cheeky little number in his honour:

Slashing and burning his way to the number 3 spot, it's the man everybody loves to hate, land grabbing, syphillitic, Hitler moustachioed paranoid fantasist and all round bully, Robert Mugabe!

Mugabe has been entertained at Buckingham Palace on numerous occasions but has fallen out of favour in recent years. That hasn't stopped the royals inviting Zimbabwe's ambassador to the UK, Gabriel Machinga, along to the wedding.

'The Daily Mail called the invitation of Gabriel Machinga and exclusion of former Labour Party prime ministers Tony Blair and Gordon Brown “mind-boggling.” The paper called Machinga a servant of President Robert Mugabe’s “murderous and kleptocratic regime".' (Voice of America News)

Mind you, the royals do have other links to the Mugabe regime in the form of Chelsy Davy, Prince Harry's squeeze. Chelsy's Dad seems like a nice bloke...

"A game reserve in Zimbabwe part-owned by the father of Chelsy Davy has a new majority investor, in a deal that demonstrates his closeness to Robert Mugabe’s regime. Charles Davy, along with the other owners of the Bubye Conservancy in Matabeleland South province, has accepted an investment by a consortium led by Dubai World, the sovereign investment company of the Arab emirate. No other white landowner in Zimbabwe is known to have managed to raise such investment for years." Article: The Telegraph

So, let's hear it for Robert Mugabe!

Shooting up to number 2, it's the self proclaimed King of Scotland, Idi Amin.

In 1976 the Queen held a luncheon in honour of the then Ugandan President. 
Legend has it that, following the lunch, Amin made the following speech:

"My majesty Mr. Queen Sir,
horrible ministers and members of parliament,
invented Guests, ladies under gentlemen.
I hereby thank you completely…..Mr. Queen, sir;
and also what he has done for me and my fellow Uganda
who come with me.
We have really eaten very much. And we are fed up completely:
And also very thanks to you keenly open up from all windows:
so that those plenty climates can come into lunch. But before I go
back to my country with a plane from the Entebbe airport of London
I wish to invitation you Mr. Queen, to become home to Uganda so
that we can also revenge on you .
You will eat a full cow: and also feel up your stomach and
walk with difficult because of full stomach completely.
Even when you want to rest at night; I will make sure that
you sleep on top of me in the top up stairs of my mansion
completely so that you can enjoy all the gravity of fresh air.
“But now am sorry because I have to tell you that I have
made a short call on you only. But next time I shall make a long call
on you to last the whole moon completely. Thank you very much
to allow me to undress you completely before these extinguished
ladies under gentlemen sir.
Lastly but not list, I ask the band to play our international anthem
of the republic of Uganda and also the British international anthem…
Your majesty sir, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and from the bottoms
of all the people of Uganda .
With this few words I thank you Sir."

(Source: The Internet so the accuracy of this is anybody's guess)

The song in the vid below is by Finland's 'Frederik' singing in his native tongue, but don't let that put you off. Frederik seems to be following the trend (set by 'Boney M' with their song about Rasputin) for disco narratives that celebrate the lives of notorious historical figures. You've got to admit it's damn catchy! For all the deaths, misery, deprivation, unemployment and social division that she caused, Margaret Thatcher is NUMBER ONE IN THE DESPOT CHART! WOOOOOO!

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